WHERE ARE THE KEYS?

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy is having a restful day. She fed herself this morning and is enjoying having Julie, Alex, and Nic here.

God is good.

***

For several weeks I had looked for Kristy's set of car keys that I had misplaced. Actually I had hidden them a few of months ago because I was concerned that while I was away from the house that Kristy might get confused and decide to drive somewhere. She hasn't driven since Nov 7, 2007, after her eye doctor said she had lost peripheral vision which led to her brain cancer diagnosis.

I couldn't remember where I had hidden them.

Don't laugh. You do things like this too.

I had looked all over the house repeatedly in the places that I thought I had placed them. Over and over I searched for them. My family had also looked for me and none of us could put our hands on them. It got to be very frustrating. Someone suggested that I pray about it and really I had prayed several times.

Have you ever lost something? I guess all of us have experienced losing items. One of my sisters lost her sun glasses only to find them on the top of her head. A sister-in-law was looking for something that she realized she literally was holding in her hand. Now, that’s bad.

Yesterday my sister Norma and Kristy's sister Rebecca were looking for a cake platter. They looked all over and asked me where it was. I looked and it was sitting right in front of them on the kitchen counter. HA!

Another sister-in-law told me that she once asked her husband where her sun glasses were and he said that they were on her head.

She felt her hair and said, "Where?"

He said, "They are on your face. Your wearing them!"

Thursday morning I prayed again and asked the Lord, “Please help me find these keys.”

I looked again with no results, but few moments later my sister, Norma, was helping with a matter as we were moving some items in the bedroom. All of a sudden there the keys were. For weeks I had searched for them and bingo, there they were.

I turned to Kristy's bed and prayed with Norma, "Dear Lord, you just helped me find Kristy's keys because I sincerely asked for your help. Kristy is more important to you than a set of car keys. Please, Dear Lord, touch her and make her well. I trust you and and know that she is in your hands. Amen."

Prayer works. It really, truly works. If we will turn to Him in sincerity in prayer, He will answer. God will help you if you have lost something or need help in another area. There is nothing to big or too small for the Lord.

Ask. Seek. Knock. That is the process. Try it again today. It works. I know. I found the keys.

CAN YOU FLY A KITE?

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy had another good day. She was up in our family room again and has enjoyed being where the action is.

Last night when she was ready to go to the bedroom, she asked, "Ya'll aren't going to party now are you?" She didn't want to miss anything.

By the way, that was a great kiss!

See that string hanging off that picture? It looks like a kite flying on the wall. Actually it is a Kristy creation. She sewed a cover for the cord hanging down from the light for the painting. What else can this woman do? Only God knows.

She is experiencing more confusion and works hard at staying alert and involved. It is very difficult for her and for us.

Yet, God is good.

WHAT HAVE YOU GIVEN JESUS?

Milton, here for Kristy:

There is nothing like singing to cheer the heart. Church singing is the best. Our family loves to praise and worship and Tuesday night Kristy wanted us to sing a good ole' hymn--she winked and said, "Not a 'HIM'."

Kristy and I met as students at Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida. We traveled and sang in the choir--though not dating at the time. We loved to sing then and we love to sing praises to God even more now. We married right after my graduation in 1971, and all of our marriage as been spent worshipping God, singing His praise, and leading people to Him.

Sing along with us if you can keep up with Kristy on the second one. I couldn't keep up, but maybe you can.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLQ_DakHBaU

(Double click on the link above to watch the video.)

The third verse of At Calvary says, "Now I've given to Jesus everything, now I gladly own Him as my King, now my raptured soul can only sing of Calvary." What wonderful words to sing to Jesus when we truly mean it.

What have you given Jesus?

Oh, that we may give Him everything.

***

How is Kristy?

She has been sitting in the family room all day. This is her first time up in almost two weeks.

God is good.

ONE GLAD DAY

Milton, here for Kristy:

Yesterday was one beautiful day in Jacksonville. Kristy enjoyed looking out our bedroom onto our porch and back yard. The birds were singing and the flowers were beautiful. We opened the sliding doors and listened all day to the winds blowing in the trees.

She had rallied and throughout the day we enjoyed singing and sharing God's goodness. I am going to post a video of us singing last night before bedtime. She wanted a hymn. She said not a "HIM".

Every day is a glad day in Jesus.

Rejoice! This is the day the Lord has made.

***

I like to asked her how much she loves me. So I asked her that again yesterday.

She answered with sweet passion, "I love you with all my mind, soul, body, and spirit."

Then she asked, "And how much do you love me?"

"With all my mind, soul, body, and spirit," I said.

Our love and dearness has grown throughout our marriage. It is sweeter now than ever.

Hey, doesn't she look good in gold too?

Can you see her love?

TWO LITTLE BOYS

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy rested again in the night. She was very confused last evening, but still has her sweet, peaceful smile. Her kind loving hands weakly reach out to love those near.

***

Julie's boys, Alex and Nic, have know for some time that Kristy has been sick. They saw their Nana a week ago and knew that she was very ill and would ask if she was going to die. We would tell them that everyone dies at some time, and then they would ask where do you go when you die? We would tell them that you go to heaven if Jesus is in your heart and that would suffice.

Last night Julie played the video (April 14 post) of Kristy singing to her grandchildren and then later told them that Nana was going to heaven. Their hearts broke with hard tears.

Julie is a single mom and was in Tampa where she lives. They called and I talked with them and comforted them. Alex is eight and Nic is five, almost six. Alex understands this loss and Nic is not sure what is happening.

We wept and talked over the phone and I shared how much Nana loves them and how they are special little boys. I call Alex my "best pal" and Nic my "best buddy". I assured them that Papa would be with them and loved them and that they are special little boys. Alex said, "You are a special Papa." They received comfort and went to bed, Alex sleeping with Nana's picture in his hand.

Little ones are resilient but they need love, security, and comfort. Please pray for God's shield and grace to be with them today and these next days.

Jennifer's children, Claudia and Lorenzo, are four and two. They deeply love their Nana too.

TORN BETWEEN TWO WORLDS

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy had a good night's rest. She enjoyed Mother's Day with Julie and talked with Jennifer on the phone. God's presence is so strong and sweet around her in our bedroom and home.

Kristy wants to go to heaven. She deeply loves her family and can hardly bear the thought of leaving us, but her desires have turned toward heaven. In the last days, she has told us she has seen her mother and father who are in heaven and she wants to see Jesus.

Kristy's passion for living life with pizzazz, enthusiasm, and high energy is known by all who have met her. She loves people, loves helping people, and loves seeing them blessed. She told me weeks ago that if the Lord did not heal her that leaving us was a thought to hard to bear. She loves her "hero husband" as she has labeled me. She is thrilled and thankful for two adorable daughters and is just crazy about her grands.

Her dreams are yet many and her desire for life is so great.

This is hard for her and hard for us. She is torn between two worlds while yet resting in His strength and covered with His peace. It is a paradox.

When I prepared to preach sweet Esther Rampton's funeral last Friday, the Lord raised the curtain of Glory and Eternity just a bit for me to catch a greater view of this picture. I don't understand it all and I'm torn between two worlds too, but this clearer view has helped me. The "why" is not as unbearable. God is doing a greater work in us and others beyond our natural vision.

God is in charge here. He is at work. He will help us.

MY SWEET MOTHER...

Julie, here:

My sweet mother…

I cried this morning as I read my mom's blog and the comments that have been posted. Pam Meyers posted the following song. And that IS how it feels here.

Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place
I can feel His mighty power and His grace
I can hear the brush of angels' wings
I see glory on each face
Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place

Thank you to all of you for your love, support, and prayers. Your love and concern mean more to me than you'll ever know. My sister expressed what your prayers feel like perfectly- like a sweet wave of quiet peace.

My heart is aching and is so filled with emotion, like it's going to burst.

All I can think of is how sweet my mother is. I can't bear the thought of not having her here. She has always been the most loving and giving wife, mother, and Nana. I've always described her as the most talented woman on earth. She can paint, sew, write, sing, speak, cook, you name it- she can do it. And I mean do it expertly.

I don't understand why God is taking her so early, but I am SO thankful that she is my mom. I'm so thankful that this did not happen to her when I was younger. I am so thankful I've had some adult years with her. She has taught me so many things. She has touched me and has made such a huge impact on my life. I am going to miss her so much. I want more time with her. How blessed I am to be a part of this family. She is so sweet.

The things that have been written about my mother and father are all so true. I know. I've seen them in public and behind closed doors. Our family is not perfect. But my mom and dad's story is the truest example of real love. It's all about choice. They choose each other every day. They choose to love and to forgive. They've been strong for my sister and me. They've supported me in the toughest of times. They've given wise advice. They've modeled love, grace, faithfulness, and commitment.

My mom is young. I want her here so badly. I want more time to cook with her, to shop with her, to have lunch and laugh with her. More time to spend on vacation with her and my father, sister, and our four kids. She's been the best nana in the world! She's so thoughtful and has done so many things for Alexander, Nicholas, Claudia, and Lorenzo. I can't imagine her not being here. Even in her busy world, where she was accomplishing so much, she took the time to come and work with me- in my classroom, in my home… I could write forever on how special she is and on all she has done for me. She is amazing.

These past months have been so hard. I've felt so empty. It's difficult trying to make sense of this. For the first time this past week, I felt a little bit of strength… a little bit of joy… a little bit of hope for the future… The way I used to feel, before she became sick. Like my sister said before. It's time to rise up, and to follow in her footsteps. What a wonderful model and example she has been. I never dreamed in a million years something would ever happen like this to my mom. She's so strong and healthy.

Even though my heart feels like it's being ripped out, somehow her words still play in my mind…"It's going to be all right…" That's what my sister heard the night we found out about my mom. That's what my mom said to my boys last weekend. I know she will be so happy in heaven. But we will miss her here so much. There will be a hole left when she's gone. Her special touches on everything will be so greatly missed by us.

I'm trying to decide what to do today. About going home to my boys- this is their weekend with him. About my work, etc… And I just feel like I don't want to leave her. I can't describe her sweetness and the peace that flows around and from her.

Her sweetness is radiating in our home. Oh mom, thank you for who you are and for all you've done. Happy Mother's Day. I love you so much. ---Julie

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy gave me two beautiful, wonderful, most precious daughters, Julie and Jennifer pictured above her bed. She has loved them, cared for them, and nurtured them all the days of their lives. Her love reaches out even now in sweet, brief whispers.

Thank you Kristy.

Happy Mother's Day

WITH All MY LOVE AND GRATITUDE,

MILTON

***

Kristy rested through the night and woke early talking some but with pain. Our faith and trust in Him keeps us and sustains us. He is faithful.

ANGELS ARE PRESENT...

Milton, here for Kristy:

I have three sisters who all married ministers. Two of them are here as I type. My youngest sister, Janet, lives in St. Petersburg, FL, and called a few moments earlier and shared a vision she had in prayer of Kristy and our home.

She said she saw angels present in our home that were here to stand watch over Kristy. She said they would stay until Jesus came.

We wept with comfort and thanksgiving to know the Lord has sent angels who are watching over us.

Janet is a sweet wonderful young mother and pastor's wife--not given to over dramatic emotions. The truth is that angels are sent to watch over us according to God's Word.
We know angles are present. I sense their presence and even more I sense His presence.

Kristy has gotten weaker today. She whispers with great effort and has not eaten. We are trusting Jesus and His care for her.

I'll SEE YOU SOON...

Milton, here for Kristy:

Jennifer wrote the following on her blog:

I'll see you soon

I've said before I'm not going to tell my mom goodbye.

With mom, I don't believe in goodbyes.

I don't understand why she has to leave this earth so early, I think we all thought she'd make it into her 90's. Not unusual for our family. However in the big scheme of it all I believe we are a breath away right behind behind her.

I left on Thursday and before leaving I wanted to let her know I was heading back home to Puerto Rico, to my son and husband.

I arrived at Hospice very early and sat by her bed watching the clock tick down the hours and minutes, knowing soon we'd be separated.

An hour before I left it was just the two of us in the room. She was sleeping peaceful and I sat by her bed, holding her hand and looking at her. It was a sweet moment, I prayed over her and committed her to Jesus. I told Him I gave her over to His care and trusted Him completely with this precious treasure whom I'm blessed to call my mother.

Before I left I held her close and told her I was leaving. She was alert and looked deep into my eyes and understood what I said. Her first concern was Lorenzo, my two year old. "Poor Lorenzo, he's been away from us for so long." She said.

We hugged and she held me tight and kissed me over and over saying "I love you." I pulled back, looked into her beautiful green eyes and told her I'd see her soon.

As I turned away she whispered "Be at peace." I turned back saying "mom, I'm at peace and you be at peace too. Everything was going to be ok."

I walked away looking back over my shoulder and our eyes locked.

Something that has happened only one other time after her surgery occurred. It's hard to describe but it's as if our souls were communicating without words, we were connected. Our hearts speaking to each other. In my heart I felt her comforting me and I heard "this isn't goodbye, we will see each other soon."

It was a mother and daughter knowing the time had come to be separated, not wanting to say goodbye. In that moment it was as if we both knew we'd always be connected, death can't sever us and soon we will meet again.

TOO FUNNY NOT TO TELL...

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy rested in the night but with some pain. Her spirit is light and she keeps sharing about God's goodness.

***

Last evening I was in the family room with Norma and Ron and Judy, who are also ministers and family by marriage. We were laughing over something funny that happened. The nurse came into the room and for a moment we thought we had disturbed Kristy.

Norma went with the nurse back into the bedroom and Kristy was lying there with a smile on her face as she suspected what we were doing. Norma said, "We're telling our funny stories."

Weakly but naturally, she raised her hand and elbow and snapped her fingers in a humorous manner that let us know she was disappointed that she had missed a good funny.

That's Kristy.

***

Here is what we were laughing over:

While in Hospice, one of the nurses commented to Sandra, Kristy's sister-in-law, about how sorry she was that her daughter, Kristy, was in Hospice.

Sorry, Sandra, it was too funny not to tell.

We do love you. I didn't really want to share this story but your brother, Ron, made me. Oops! I forgot, he has gone back home. Who can I blame?

FORGET THE BREAKFAST!

Milton, here for Kristy:

This morning Kristy woke up bright eyed. We brushed her teeth and then Sis (Norma) said, "How about some breakfast?" Kristy nodded yes.

Norma said to me, "Brush your teeth and give her a kiss." Then she asked if Kristy wanted some perfume?

Kristy responded with a wink, "Yes, and forget the breakfast!"

"Well....!" Norma said, "I guess Kristy is frisky again."

The nurse's eyes had questions.

***

Smile.

This is a blog on christian romance, isn't it?

***

Esther Rampton went to heaven Tuesday night.

She was a precious 91 year young saint from our church who was brought to the Hospice Center into a room across the hall from Kristy. I ministered to her and her family and prayed for the loving arms of Jesus to wrap around her and receive her into heaven. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and left the room to walk back across the hall.

This morning I will preach her funeral at our church. Heaven is the goal. Sweet Esther made it.